I realize that these posts are simply for me. They are proverbial breadcrumbs, and this one will be short and sweet. I've been thinking about my own ambition and how it interacts with my intuition, my path, and my feelings about myself. It's no secret that ambition is slippery. It's a bitch, actually...
Last year, I made the (bittersweet) decision to leave DDD, my beloved dance family. I had thought the only way to begin a new direction was to crisply leave the one I was on. And there's some truth to that. And that is how it happens for some folks. Folks I admire. But, if I honestly reflect on the experience(s) that have led me to now, I begin to notice that, for me, my desirous ambition (Capricornian need) has led me to situations that have needed some undoing whereas listening to my intuition, the world, the spirits, or whatever you want to call it has led me into serendipitous moments of being exactly where I've needed to be; that place/space/moment my ambition seems to overlook.
At this moment, I am in Santa Ana working with a family/youth/dance/life organization called the Wooden Floor. I want to write everything about this program. I want everyone to know about the multi-directional love and support these folks have forged into their infrastructure, curriculum, and integrative programming. It is best and most fully understood by visiting them in CA, or second best, check them out here. I can tell you this much about being here- every day my heart actually tingles because of the students and staff of TWF. One moment, I'm reminded how fortunate I was to receive an outreach scholarship and never quit. I'm forever grateful for the scholarship that changed my life. The next moment, I'm looking at these students and thinking about how their lives will be forever changed by their experience at TWF, much like mine was changed through and by dance. Yet, these students aren't just receiving a scholarship. They are receiving a life that is supported holistically over an extended period of time... they are made a promise, one that is fulfilled. If only every person could experience this kind of deep education, I think we would have too many great leaders to be inspired by, great artists to learn from, and great people to live with. Can we even imagine too many people filled with greatness - love, hope, creativity, discernment, empathy, brilliance, generosity, boldness, humility....?
I get to feel this way and I get to be here because of a swift change in plans. I thought I left the path I was on to take on new directions. I am here with DDD working on David's behalf, but as myself doing my work alongside my family. This place and this moment are exactly what I didn't know I needed, where I didn't know I needed to be, doing what I didn't know I needed to do. I get to be here because serendipity was louder than ambition; my intuition, the world, the spirits, or whatever you want to call it spoke up.